ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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