Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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