I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
