The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
