No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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