About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
