She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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