I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
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