I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm bleeding and have questions
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize