woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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