i'm signing you up for texting rehab
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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