yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
