So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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