I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
