Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
