Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
