so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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