god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
