How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
