you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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