We won't sleep together?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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