i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
