Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
