No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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