my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
