Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize