hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize