These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
