i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
