you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
