That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
