i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize