He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And then my night got REAL pukey
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
