rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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