after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My ass is underappreciated
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
