Your face is a jimmy john
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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