Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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