There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
