sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
