i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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