i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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