I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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