i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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