2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just saw a hot homeless man
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
