nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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