I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
