Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
