I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
