And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have already put on my inside pants.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
