my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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