is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
