is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
