Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize