Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
