Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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