If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
