Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
